Friday 23 July 2010

Found Friday



My adolescent Dr Who obsession took on a bizarre and perverse incarnation in the late 70s in the form of 'Ductor Who', a series of 'radio programmes' (ie cassette recordings) featuring me and my best friend at the time Joe McIntyre. They featured the classic early Tom Baker gang of Sarah and Harry, together with K9. It was all very filthy and stupid (and therefore great fun when you're 14).

The Ductor was basically a dirty old man, Sarah was a 'nympho' (who started off as a kind of rip-off of Karla from Kenny Everett's 'Captain Kremmen'), Harry was gay as ninepence and K9 was... just K9, since his dialogue consisted entirely of what I'd managed to record off the telly.

Here is one of the script books, for want of a better term, for 'The Three Crystals of Gettakwikiss' (oh god), presumably based round the recently shown Key to Time season. A glimpse at any page of 'script' within this book is deeply shameful... you can almost feel me and Joe scratching our pimples. And it would certainly come as no surprise to anyone reading through it that both youths involved in Ductor Who should grow up as gay as... well, as gay as Harry.

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